Are You In Your 2nd Childhood?

All his peoples moved on in life, he’s on the corners at night
with young dudes it’s them he wanna be like
It’s sad but it’s fun to him right? He never grew up
31 and can’t give his youth, he’s in his second childhood

- Nas “Second Childhood”

I have often heard from female friends that young black men are scared to commit. When I ask why they may feel that way, the answers vary, but rarely are they any that can be solidified. The fact is, many men in their early 20s to early 30s experience a “2nd Childhood”. Of course, these brothas are not playing in the literal sandbox anymore, but rather one in which words like commitment and consequence are not relevant.

Don’t get it twisted. Men who are in their 2nd childhood are accomplished. They generally are self-motivated, and excel in their education and/or profession. Some are entrepreneurs, whose “No Fear” mindset has made them excel in their field. Others took the traditional route, and finished college before entering the work arena. By the time they reach their mid 20s, they realize their “worth” in the dating game, and often reassess their options. Some of these guys may have never been “The Man” in high school. These were the guys who was rarely noticed by all the pretty girls. The athletes and dope boys pulled those chics. These were the guys who quietly sifted through his teenage years, and had a limited selection of women. As he got older, and his achievements grew, he was noticed. His confidence, and in some cases, arrogance grew, and he forgot how things used to be.

The brotha in his 2nd Childhood is also that guy you know who used to be “The Man” in high school, yet dropped out of college. He holds on to those fading memories of yesterday, yet has no concrete plan to develop new ones today. He might be that 31 year old who still frequents the club as much now as he did at 21. That might be ok if he was the owner/promoter of the spot, but not as a patron. This brotha might live at home with mom, or even in his baby mama’s/girlfriends place. His “dreams and aspirations/potential” was what attracted her to him, but that potential has become PO-tential quick.

For the brothas out there, if you carry any of these characteristics above, check ya self. It’s not too late to turn things around.

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